A strong foundation for a great life starts within. A strong self can wonders for your life. But what does a strong identity have to do with a great life? In Master of Change, Brad Stulberg makes a compelling case for it. He argues that diversifying your sense of self changes everything, including your approach to life. He thought a diversified, adaptable, and resilient self is key to excelling at life.
“One of the most important parts of developing an identity that can thrive, persist, and endure change is to diversify your sense of self. You can think of identity like a house. You want the house to have multiple rooms. Perhaps there is a “parent” room; an “athlete” room; an “employee,” “entrepreneur,” or “executive” room; a “community member” room, and so on. It’s okay to spend a lot of time in just one room, but you’ve got to ensure you keep the others in good enough shape. This way, when you experience a massive change or disorder event in one area of your life, in one room of your identity, you can step into other areas to gain your footing and stability. Like a diversified portfolio in investing, diversifying your sense of self makes you more rugged and flexible in the face of change.” Brad Stulberg — Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing
Identity as a house means you can spend most of your time in one room but don’t have to stay there. You can move around to keep your sanity. Or better still, change rooms to recharge. Each room represents a different aspect of who you are or what you can do to stay in control of your life.
I use my “solitude room” to take a break. Although “work room” takes a lot of my time, I don’t miss time in the “solitude room.” It improves my interaction with everyone around me.
Why is Stulberg’s perspective essential for life?
Life changes. Sometimes, big events hit your house. Maybe you lose your job, or a loved one gets sick. These are like massive effects on one room. If that’s your only room, the event destroys your world. But if you have other strong rooms, you can retreat there, regroup, and keep going.
It’s like investing.
A diverse portfolio protects you from losses. A diverse identity protects you from life’s ups and downs. You become more flexible and more adaptable. Like a healthy portfolio, you can treat your life as an investment of time in the critical areas of life: professional (work, money, personal growth), social ( family and friends) and health (nutrition, exercise and rest). “Much of life is about the return on investment — your relationships, life, and career are reflective of what you consistently invest into them,” writes Polina Pompliano.
You could even think of it as a garden.
You wouldn’t plant only roses. You add cosmos, daisies, Dahlias and peony. Each flower adds beauty in its own way. And when pests attack one plant, the garden as a whole remains strong.
So, nurture multiple aspects of yourself; interests, relationships, and curiosities. It’s a better way to invest in your inner life.
You’ll be amazed at how it strengthens your ability to handle uncertainties. A strong self means knowing your strengths and weaknesses. Know your emotions. Accept what is. Self-awareness is the foundation for a strong identity. When an unexpected event comes, you’ll be ready. You will have others to retreat to, to heal, to grow. You’ll accept life for what is, not a victim of what happens.
For your best life, build your identity house wisely.
Create many strong rooms. It’s about balance. Keep tending to all the rooms in your house. While spending most of your time in one favourite room is tempting, neglecting the others weakens your foundation for your best life. A well-rounded identity is like a sturdy house with multiple strong rooms. Every room serves a purpose for your best life. It makes you more adaptable, more understanding, and more fulfilled.
A diversified identity is the freedom to truly live.
It’s living a full life without fear of life’s inevitable changes. It’s how you integrate your whole self and find strength in your diversity. Life is insanely unpredictable. Jobs change, relationships evolve, and goals shift. One practical way to survive change is to become a multifaceted person. It strengthens your character.
Like a healthy portfolio, life is a long game — allocate your time wisely to the many “rooms” to excel at everything you do. It’s okay to experiment, to change, to evolve. The key is to continually nurture a diverse sense of self, allowing it to be a source of strength, inspiration, and joy.
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