All life is living and dying at the same time. It’s a strange and disturbing truth. Yet, most of us ignore it. We only get a sudden realisation of our mortality when we come close to dying or experience a near miss that could have taken our lives.
I have never understood that.
Mortality is a heavy topic, but it’s wisdom for making the most of our finite lives. During the Black Death in the Middle Ages, about a third of the population of Europe died. The Latin catchphrase ‘memento mori’ ( ‘remember you must die’ ) became popular to remind people to waste no time. In Meditations, Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius notes, “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.”
“You live as if you were destined to live forever, no thought of your frailty ever enters your head, of how much time has already gone by you take no heed. You squander time as if you drew from a full and abundant supply, though all the while that day which you bestow on some person or thing is perhaps your last.” ― Seneca, On the Shortness of Life: Life Is Long if You Know How to Use It
Momento mori humbles me.
It gets rid of illusions of invincibility and ego. The reality of death defines how I live. But rather than dwell on fear, it pushes me to find meaning.
“Memento mori” paires beautifully with “memento vivere”, remember you must live.” It pushes me to engage with life, seek out experiences, and live to the point of tears. Life is disturbingly short, and that’s precisely why it’s precious. This idea encourages me to live each day with intention.
“Life is long if you know how to use it.”― Seneca
While death is inevitable, life is here and now. I must not only acknowledge death but also live life fully whilst I still have time. Each experience is only a gift. I must remember to live whilst I know death is a certain destination.
“Memento vivere” encourages me to make the most of the shortness of time. It pushes me to live with purpose, joy, and presence. “Momento mori is a mantra to remember I can leave life right now.
Together, they teach me an essential lesson.
I must acknowledge death but not be consumed by it. I must not fear death but rather let it inspire me to live. By remembering my mortality, I learned to appreciate life more while I live. I focus on what truly matters. I must nurture my relationships and curiosities and harvest all the meaning I can in my ordinary experiences.
I don’t wait for a few life-changing events to feel alive. “Memento mori” reminds me to value my time. “Memento vivere” reminds me to use my short time wisely.
In that balance, I find a better way to live.
I think about both appreciating life more and prioritising experiences. When I contemplate human mortality, I begin to refocus my priorities. It makes me more conscious. I focus on what truly matters: love, connection, and experiences, and I let go of petty resentments.
Death nudges us to live. It’s not an attachment to despair but tragic wisdom: living is the purpose of life. Death gives meaning to the story of life.
Recognising that I’m in transition doesn’t fill me with despair but with gratitude and appreciation. Life has always been a temporary gift. Death is a silent observer. The shadow of death can either consume us or illuminate our path. The choice is always yours. Yet, we live as if time is infinite, as if we have forever.
“Love of fate, loving what is — not because it is good, but because it is the set of all things that occur ( the universe, reality), and because nothing else exists… This is a tragic wisdom: ‘The Dionysiac affirmation of the universe as it is, with no possibility of subtraction, exception, or choice.’ It means participating in the ‘innocence of becoming,’ the ‘eternal yes of being,’ which is the self affirmation of all… ‘Not what should be, but what is,’- neither hope nor regret. It is the only path: ‘There is no way out except acceptance.’ We must say yes to all that is and to all that occurs, but it is the yes of acceptance ( all is true, all is real), not the yes of approval ( all is well). It is the yes of wisdom, not of religion- or, more accurately, it is not a word, and neither wisdom nor religion exists. All that exists is the eternal necessity of becoming, which is true being.” — André Comte-Sponville
The universe, as it is, contains all things — joy and suffering, beauty and tragedy, life and death. There is no alternate reality, no other way things could be. In all its paradox, the universe is the sum of all things that must occur. Affirm life as it is and choose to live your whole self, with all its experiences (the good and the bad), without trying to subtract or choose only the parts you like.
It’s a difficult truth, but it’s the path to accepting your mortality and choosing to do the best you can with your short life. Say yes to life in its entirety, accepting the flow of life and death without judgment or resistance. That is reality as it is, not as I wish it to be. Hope and regret pull me into the future or the past, away from what is.
I cannot escape reality. I cannot change reality.
The only way forward is to accept it. Acceptance is an acknowledgement that life, in all its forms, is the only life there is. Saying yes to life doesn’t mean I have to agree with everything that happens. It means I accept reality; life as it is, not as I think it should be. Life is not about liking or disliking what happens.
But understanding that what is, is all there is.
I have not surrendered to despair but I understand “reality as is” is the only path to true freedom. In saying yes to all that is, I say yes to life itself, in all the things I still don’t understand.
It’s a path of peace, free from the struggle of wishing things were different. It’s the wisdom of living life with every fibre of your being without judgment or resistance.
Choosing to be fully present in the here and now is how I honour memento mori and memento vivere.
Carpe diem: seize the day!
“Live straightway!”― Seneca
Join my email list with 60K+ curious people who receive my best essays and free curated tools for conscious living.