Change is painful. You feel lost and misunderstood. But your new life demands sacrifice. You may lose friends or relationships. I have lost friends from my past since I took complete control of my life trajectory. People may dislike or misunderstand you.
It’s tough. It’s okay. And honestly I believe it’s necessary.
Understanding is not the goal; defining and living the life I want or need (my reason for being) has always been more essential for my growth. However slow, I’m paying attention to my self-evolution, my true north. The people who truly belong in my life will find me on the other side of my new life.
I recently came across this quote by Brianna Wiest, a bestselling author that made a lot of sense. “Your new life is going to cost you your old one. It’s going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense of direction. It’s going to cost you relationships and friends. It’s going to cost you being liked and understood. It doesn’t matter. The people who are meant for you are going to meet you on the other side. You’re going to build a new comfort zone around the things that actually move you forward. Instead of being liked, you’re going to be loved. Instead of being understood, you’re going to be seen. All you’re going to lose is what was built for a person you no longer are.” — Brianna Wiest, The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery
It’s a brutal truth. Your familiar path, routines, habits or ways must give way to the person you are now. You will lose things along the way. But what you’re losing was built for a person you no longer are.
I’ve come to terms with that. It’s a trade-off, and it’s worth it. You and I are evolving. If you truly want to level up and step into a new, better self, you must leave behind what no longer serves you.
People change, too. Those we once held close might no longer fit into our new lives. It’s painful and confusing, but it’s also the only way through.
To grow, we have to let go.
The ones meant for you will find you on your new path. They won’t just like you; they’ll love you. They won’t just understand you; they’ll see your soul.
Sometimes, the loss is necessary to gain something invaluable.
The cost is high, but the reward is life-changing. I decided to pay the price a long time ago. Because in the end, the only thing I’m losing is what wasn’t meant to last. Sometimes, I question where I’m headed. I’ve done that more times than I can count.
I’ve felt the weight of that realization, and I know you have, too. But I’ve also felt the freedom that comes with letting go of my old self and stepping into the new. It’s a trade-off, but it’s one I’m willing to make.
I think you are, too.
I know I’m losing my old self to find my new path. A path that’s true to who I’m becoming. I’ve had moments where I felt completely alone, where it seemed like no one got what I wanted for myself or what I was going through. But I’m not seeking approval; I need acceptance from myself.
Pay attention to your excitement, however subtle, however quiet. What is alive for you is what is true. — Brianna Wiest
Loss is not all bad: it’s an investment.
What you want or need will always cost you your old self. It’s terrifying. But I think it’s exhilarating, too. Freedom to be can hurt. You lose pieces of yourself. But you’re making space for something new. You’re trading comfort for purpose. You’re exchanging superficial connections for meaningful, quality relationships.
It’s a risk. A leap of faith.
You will fall but rise again stronger, truer you, a life guided by self-acceptance, passion, meaning, and love.
You’ll soar.
People will see you clearly, flaws and all, and love you anyway.
True self-becoming might not always be loud or obvious. Sometimes, it’s a gentle nudge, a quiet curiosity. But no matter how subtle, it’s there for a reason. It’s a sign that something is alive within you, something true.
So, I’m learning to pay attention.
I’m learning to listen to what excites me, no matter how quiet it is. I’m learning to trust that my excitement and curiosity are leading me to where I need to be. Because when I follow what’s alive for me, I’m living my truth. In the end, a great life is about living a life that feels right and alive. Anything less is a detour.
Join my email list with 60K+ curious people who receive my best essays and free curated tools for conscious living.